holaaaa ^^
Today is a special day, somehow it supposed to be a very important event that I was looking for since last year but for some reasons everything got cancelled early this month and it was really hard to accept this failure ^^
My fan meeting really helped me a lot, it’s true that I was kinda tired but I was happy after reading your words and how you guys made me feel so useful, telling me how much my latest activities inspired you, helped you and that I'm giving you hope, all your words made me feel important in everyone’s life and it made me smile :)))))
But as I said before I'm living triple life, I'm not someone who likes to talk about my personal life with people and especially about PYG, I dislike mixing everything together cos it’s not professional and it causes troubles and collects haters, so if I face some issues at work and people change with me I don’t give it a deep thought and I just say it’s okay they don’t know me let them judge me or hate me, if one of my fans gets sick of me and decides to leave the fandom I do feel bad but I never blame them cos they don’t know me so I understand them, but what hurts the most is when I feel that my place in my close people's heart is disappearing or I realize that I was never helpful to them :(
I was thinking that when we get to know someone very well , friends or cousins or brothers or sisters or even parents, it means we will know their bad and good sides, their flaws and their power, their cute and annoying attitudes, everything about them, so when we choose to let them in, it means we accept them as they are, that their presence in our lives will bring us some kind of happiness comfort and motivation, and nothing could replace them, that’s how I think before getting close to anyone, if I feel that I can’t really accept someone’s personality I just keep my distance and act kindly without being too close, cos if from the beginning we get close to someone knowing that we are so different , it will never last more than one year!
But once I give my full attention time and trust it means it’s for life , I accept them without looking back or regretting it, when I choose to work with someone I also give my everything my full energy until I break down just to be useful and to satisfy myself and also satisfy them!
When I give I give more than I can, I don’t want to live with regret, I hate the feeling of “ I should’ve done this , I shouldn’t have said that “ so when everything falls down I won’t blame myself and things will hurt less..
But lately I felt so helpless, useless, like I'm nothing, it’s like my presence wasn't needed at all from the beginning, I always say I'm not perfect but at least I'm loyal I do my best to give the best, but I didn’t know that I could be someone who can be forgotten easily, someone we can be replaced or ignored, or to be like everyone else, like a stranger.. That’s why I'm being good to myself, I treat myself warmly and I'm giving myself so much love, honestly talking I'm enjoying myself, even thou the pain is too big to bear, but I have faith, I know that I didn’t lose that I just need to wait, I won’t change the way I trust or the way I love or help people , this is me, and my door will never be closed cos I can’t change my heart and I won’t change it, some think that poets are stupid, they believe in everlasting relationships, familyships, friendships, but we’re just being loyal and faithful and honest...
i believe that sometimes we need to be wise and to sacrifice for everything and everyone we love, i'm someone who forgives always and i'm always hopeful, even though today i feel restless but i'm hopeful, one day i'll get back what I've lost today.. i believe..yes i do.. that's why my pain has a sweet taste, cos i'm staying positive, and i'm smiling brilliantly cos my smile is lightning up my mind ^^
This was the story of my day and the conclusion is:
When you study, be honest and serious
When you work, work hard with pride and conscience
When you love, stay faithful, accept sacrifices and be patient
Never let regrets break through your life, never take decision when you’re mad angry or sad, never let go of those who truly care about you and accept you as you are!
When you give your all you will live peacefully, even when you lose, accept the fact that you were good enough but you can't change or force your destiny, stay hopeful remember the good lessons and memories then your pain will get that sweet flavor that will bring a warm smile to your face instead of showering it with tears and regrets ^^
And always be good to yourself !
*PYG's Whisper*
and cos we all need someone who can believe in us forever , who holds our hands and reminds us that we can do miracles cos we are strong enough, that person must be an angel and i hope that i can be that angel exactly like this song by AMIR
Thanks for reading kkkk and i'm happily sharing with you my favourite pic lol
SMIIIIILLLLLEEEEEEEE :D
Have a nice day all
I love you soooooooo much xoxo
-PYG's Whisper-
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